Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana ngesondo

Ukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana ngesondo

A sexual assault awareness poster.

Zininzi iindlela zokuchaza ubunjani bomntu onokuxhaphaza abantwana bethu ngokwesondo. Awona magama axhaphakileyo babizwa ngawo ngala: izidlwengu okanye abaxhaphazi beentsana ngokwesondo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwazi ukuba umntu omdala okanye umntu omtsha osele ebuqina xa ethe waphula umthetho ngokuxhaphaza umntwana ngokwesondo, akukwazeki ukuba banganyangeka kweso simo. Nangona zikho iinkqubo zokuzama ukunyanga la marhamncwa, uninzi lwazo aijolise ekususeni ixhoba [umntwana wakho] kulo mphembeleli [isidlwengu]. Niengenxila ntywaleni, xa la marhamncwa ekwiindawo ezinabantwana bethu, aye angakwazi ukuzibamba kumnqweno wokuxhaphaza nokudlwengula abantwana bethu izihlandlo ngezihlandlo. Ubukhulu becala, izidlwengu nabaxhaphazi babantwana bayaziwa ngabantwana naziintsapho.

Kutheni besenza oku?

Izidlwengu nabaxhaphazi babantwana batsalwa ngumnqweno wesondo kubantwana bethu kwaye bafumana ukwaneliseka kwizenzo zabo. Basoloko behenda abantwana bethu ngokubanika isihoyo nezipho – oku kubizwa ngokuba lugegesho. Kukwakho naloo marhamncwa alimaza abantwana bethu kuba bekhuthazwa ubukhulu becalangamandla abanawo ngaphezu kweemfuno zesondo. Kukwakho nabo benzakalisa abantwana bethu ngoburheletya nokuhenyuzisa abantwana kuba befumana inzuzo eyimali. La marhamncwa oku akwenza kuba kwiimeko ezininzi enamandla okulawula abantwana bethu kwaye banawo amathuba kwaneendawo zabucala ezivumela ezi zenzo. Kufuneka ibe lubizo lomntu wonke onomntwana okanye owazi umntwana, ukuba kususwe amathuba, ubomi babucala obuvumela izenzo ezibi, amandla kwanolawulo lwala marhamncwa. Izidlwengu nabaxhaphazi babantwana bakhangela amathuba okuxhaphaza abantwana bethu – banakho nokuwaqulunqa la mathuba – kwiindawo zabo zabucala abazikhethele zona, ngexesha labo nongokuthanda kwabo. Kufuneka siqinisekise ukuba siyazazi iimeko nezimo ezifumanekayo nesinokuzikhangela kubantu abanokuxhaphaza abantwana bethu ngokwesondo. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba la marhamncwa ngabakhohlisis. Bayakwazi ukukuxelela nantoni na ukuze ukholelwe kubo kwaye ubaxhase koko bakuxelela kona. Bakujonga ngqo emehlweni bakwenze ukholelwe ukuba iinjongo zabo zezilungileyo.

Bakwenza njani oku?

Izidlwengu zineendlela ezahlukileyo zokuqinisekisa ukuba ziyamlawula umntwana wakho ukuze zikwazi ukumxhaphaza ngokwesondo. Imizekelo yolu qeqesho nokuhenda okwenziwa zizidlwengu ukuxhaphaza abantwana bethu ngokwesondo: Ububele – benze ngathi banenkathalo ngexhoba nangosapho lwalo. Uncedo – bacele ukuncedwa ngento lixhoba. Isinyobo – ngezinto ezingqinelana nobudala bomntwana ezifana neelekese, izinto zokudlala, ukutya, utywala, imali. Igunya lokuphata – ukusebenzisa igunya labo lobuqeqeshi, inkokheli yooVulindlela umzekelo, ukuthibaza amandla okuzikhusela exhoba. Ingxakeko engekhoyo – bavakalisa ukuba kukho ukuxakeka ekhaya. Ulonwabo nemidlalo – ebandakanya ukuphatha-phatha. Ukuzigwagwisa / ukubalasela / imisebenzi – ukwenza imiboniso yeempahla, ukhuphiswano loonobuhle, uvavanyo labucala, apho abantwana baxelelwa ukuba okwenzekileyo bakugcine kuyimfihlo. Ukunakana igama – ukusebenzisa amagama amaxhoba abanakaliswe kwizinto zabantu njengezingxobo zokuphatha zesikolo, njalo-njalo ngeenjongo zokwenza ukuba ixhoba lizive likhululekile. Izoyikiso / ukoyika – ukoyikisa ixhoba ukuba lingaxeli. Amaqhawe – banxiba ngokufanayo notata wekresimesi, iyolisa ukuze batsalele abantwana kubo. Umlingo namatiletile – bazanelisa ngokuxhaphaza abantwana kubumsulwa babo. Uburheletya – basebenzisa izinto zoburheletya ukuthibaza amandla okunqanda izenzo zokubi baze benze abantwana ukuba bazive behlelelekile kwaye bengalufanelanga uthando lwabo Bantu babakhathalele ngenene nangenyaniso.

Ngoobani abajolisa kubo njengamaxhoba abo? Oku kunika inkcazo ebanzi kungezizo iimpawu zamaxhoba. Abantwana abasandul`ukuzalwa ukuya kwabo baziimveku bangangamaxhoba okukhatshazwa ngokwesondo. Abantwana abangalufumaniyo uthando ngokwasemizinjeni [ukwangiwa nokuwolana] nangokwemvakalelo kumakhaya abo. Abantwana abangenakuzithemba. Abantwana abashiywe bodwa okanye abashiywe ukuze bazijonge. Abantwana abakwiimeko apho kungekho Bantu bakhulu abafanelekileyo abanokubanjonga. Abantwana abahlala kumakhaya asebenzisa ngokugqithisileyo iziyobisi. Nawuphi na umntwana. Abantwana bethu…

Yintoni esinokuyenza ngoku, ukunqanda ukuba oku kungenzeki kubantwana bethu? Basuse abantwana bakho kwiindawo apho izidlwengu zinokufumana amathuba, iindawo zabucala kunye nolawulo kubantwana bakho, iindawo apho zinokwenza ezifuna ukukwenza ngohuthanda, naphi na apho zifuna ukukwenza khona nangokuthanda kwazo.

Kufuneka sibafundise rhoqo abantwana bethu besebancinci oku kulandelayo, nako sikufundisa kwiminyaka efanelekileyo nangohlobo olungoyikisiyo…

• Ukuba kubalulekile ukuchaza kuwe phambi kokuba baye naphi na nomnye umntu ngaphandle kwakho.
• Ukubaleka basabe engozini.
• Bakhwaze bakhale kangangoko banako xa ubani ezama ukubathatha ngendluzula okanye ezama ukubahenda ukuba asuke

phambi kwamehlo kawonke-wonke.

• Ukuba babe necebo lokuzikhusela – xa ungekho ekhaya xa befika bevela esikolweni, banike indawo engenye khuselekileyo

Abano kuya kuyo.

• Kulungile ukuthi HAYI! Kumntu omdala.
• Ngabaphi abantu basemzini abafanelekileyo ubani anokucela kubo uncedo, umzekelo, omnye umama onabantwana,

okanye umsebenzi wasekhawuntareni evenkileni; xa uthe wahlukana nabo.

• Xa umntu omdala okanye umntwana omdalana ecela ukukhonjiswa indlela oku kusoloko kusalatha ingozi – abantu abadala

Kufu neka babuze kubanye abantu abadala ngokuchazelwa ngendlela.

• Ukuba umntu omdala okanye umntwana omdalana uthatha into kubo, aze umntwana wakho kufuneke esondele kulo mntu

ukuze afumane into yakhe, kungakuhle ukuba asuke ajike abaleke aze kuxelela wean ngoko kwenzekileyo.

• Unakho ukujongana nayo nayiphi na into abafuna ukukuxelela yona. Makungabikho zinto zifihlwayo kuwe – nokuba ubani

Ubax elele ukuba uza kubonzakalisa ukuba bathe baveza imfihlo kuwe.

• Imizimba yabo yeyabo.
• Naliphi na inlungu lomzimba wabo eligqunywe ngesinxibo xokuqubha lelabo – oku kuthetha ukuba, akukho bani unelungelo loku liphatha. Kananjalo, akukho bani unelungelo lokucela ukuba aboniswe elo lungu lomzimba nangasiphi na

isizathu.

• Mabakuxelele ukuba kukho ubani othe wabenza baziva bengakhululekanga, besoyika okanye bedidekile, kufuneka baxele

kude kubekho ubani ophulaphulayo.

• Ukubethelwa [ukumamela amanakani abo]. Ingakumbi, xa kukho into ekhangeleka okanye evakala ngathi inobugwenxa,

sukuba injalo ngenene. Kufuneka ezi mvakalelo bazithathele ingqalelo kwaye bemke ngoko nangoko kuloo meko.

• Mabazazi iinombolo zabo zomnxeba, idilesi namagama abo apheleleyo.
• Abantwana bafundiswa ukuba bahloniphe abantu abadala, kodwa xa beziva bengakhuselekanga, bengakhululekanga

okanye bedide kile, mabemke ngokukhawuleza kulo mntu mdala kwaye bakuchazele ngokukhawuleza okukhulu.

• Malunga nezifundo ezisisiseko zesondo, sebenzisa ulwimi nolwazi olungqinelana neminyaka yabantwana.

Ekufuneka abazali bakwazi nemabakwenze ngalo mzuzu nangemihla yonke

Musa ukushiya umntwana wakho yedwa [edlala phambi kwegadi, okanye nabantwana babamelwane epakini, okanye nakuyiphi na imeko ongenakubabona kuyo.] musa ukubashiya nditsho nomzuzu – kuthatha umzuzwana ukuba umntu ahende umntwana wakho ukuba emke naye. Okanye amthathe ngendluzula. Wanciphise amathuba okuba amarhamncwa amsuse kuwe umntwana wakho.

Zibuze ukuba yintoni na enokukhuthaza umntu okanye umntwana omdala ukuba achithe ixesha yedwa kunye nomntwana whako [esoloko ekhuthalele ukumgcina, ukumthutha okanye abe yedwa nomntwana wakho.]Musa ukuvumela umntwana wakho aye ezindaweni yedwa. Nabantwana ababini abancinci banakho ukuthinjwa bebobabini. Bazi ukuba abantwana bakho haphi kwaye bakinye nabani maxa onke. Yithathe njengenyaniso into yokuba nantoni na umntwana wakho afuna ukukuxelela yona ibaluleke njengoko nawe ufuna Ukumx elela kona – ngolu hlobo umntwana wakho umnika ilizwi. Thetha nomtwana wakho, kwaye umphulaphule umntwana wakho – kwaye uphulaphulisise. Nkqu nemizuzu emihlanu Yokumphu laphula ngokunyanisekileyo umntwana wakho iya kuthi imqinisekise ukuba ubalulekile kwaye ululutho kuwe mzali wakhe. Zama ukuzazi iimeko nezimo apho umntwana wakho anokuba semngciphekweni wokuthinjwa, adlwengulwe okanye agetyengwe. Yenza intshukumo kule meko. Musa ukubeka umntwana wakho kwimeko elolo hlobo. Mkholelwe umntwana wakho xa ekuxelela ukuba ulinyazwe ngumntu othile, okanye uboniswe into embangele ukuba akhathazeke okanye azive engakhululekanga. Mphulaphule umntwana wakho xa esithi akafuni kuya kwindawo ethile. Mthande umntwana wakho, kwaye umxelele ukuba uyamthanda maxa onke kangangoko unako.